Today wasn't exactly the greatest day ever. Funny thing is that this day has actually repeated itself before in my book. Different day, the same exact story of course without the past where I ended the day with poop all over my Jacket. Things I am not going to miss when I leave Michigan. I hate the smell here, I want to hold my breathe for the next 5 months. Most of the people not exactly my morning type and ugh just the annoyance..I am completely frustrated. Since last Thursday when Jenny told me that I had gain weight (7days after I started working out 2 times a day) My days or week hasn't being going well. I can't stop thinking about it. It bugs me really badly and one part of me says is nothing the other part says it is everything.
Fact is, I am not going to workout for 4 months and drop it and expect to be fit my while life. I don't want to go through this journey every again. I want to still workout, do workout programs but with result and knowing I am going for a better results. This is being fighting through the emotional part. It suck yes, I doubted myself unreasonably. Googled answer, found nothing. I am so frustrated it makes me hate everyone around me. I hate when people do the things that I would have always wanted them to do.
Another thing, my coach told me not too long ago that people will try to bring you down when they see that you are doing something they have always wanted to do. I have being told "things are not good for me but they are not exactly bad for me either" boy does that statement make my entire day better. Why? well, I use to always fall for that stupid phrase. As said by my coach, it is used by people who want to eat crazy stupid things, knowing that it is bad for them. They pressure you into it to know that they wouldn't feel the guilt alone. They also say that to make themselves feel better. If it is not good for you, why eat it in the first place? I mean yeah occasional eat for fun isn't bad but common. I know I am not a saint in the eating department. Yes, I know that I have a binge eating disorder but the last thing I need is to binge on unhealthy food. I refuse to. This actually reminds me of my friend Joanna always saying "I am not sure why everyone tend to offer me food. I think they are all jealous that I am skinny and want to get me fat" Then I thought she was just vein but really that girl is right. People will try to get to you and turn you on their side. If you don't give up or back down, in time they will join you. Work on welcoming them with open harms because this side is a happy side.
